Hello

When I was a kid, I liked food, ground-breaking, right? I was one of those rare individuals who ate food to survive. Crazy, I know. Anyway, one day, I decided I wanted to cook my own food because, well, Mum was taking too long. Being the resourceful (and slightly impatient) child I was, I went online and searched for a chip recipe. Why chips? Because I was a tubby little grease enthusiast, obviously.

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I clicked on the first result, ready to fry up some golden perfection, but instead, I found… backstory. Lots of backstory. More about someone’s grandmother’s best friend’s cousin’s dog than about the actual chips. As a kid, I didn’t get it. I was mad. Where were my chips?! I don’t remember what happened next, probably because I did absolutely nothing about it. 

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Fast forward to now, as a (mostly) grown man. I get it. Stories, jokes, personality, they add flavour to the recipe, like salt on chips. But here’s the thing: I also want to make that little boy, who just wanted his chips, happy. 

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So, this website? It’s fluff-free. Straight to the point. Recipes, plain and simple. If my questionable website design holds up, they should be easy to find, too.

But if you’re looking for an entertaining experience, with jokes, fun facts, and a little chaos, head over to my channel, Crystal Wolf Productions, where I’ll be filming and editing my way through all the recipes here. Slowly. Painstakingly. But with love.

​Also to further aid that kid who just wants to cook, all measurements will be in cups, mL, grams, everything possible, and I am Australian so it will be in local terms but I will call it both names if it's different in USA or otherwise. Also also most if not all recipes will only require basic cooking utensils and an oven/hot plate, if there is more I will put that at the very top, I'm trying to look out for the little guy, so if you want to use fancy gadgets go ahead, but for the most part I won't be.

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Crystal Wolf Cuisine, a branch of the ever expanding Crystal Wolf Production (founded circa 2022), is about trying to help as many people as possible, in this case the gourmet section is for people who need help impressing someone, for people that aren't terrified of speaking to the opposite gender or a really good looking member of yours, this section is mainly for you, it serves two because it makes most efficient use of whole ingredients, but also so you can show off to your loved ones.